The Servant and The Family | Mark 10:1-12
Sermon Summary
Let me tell you a story from my childhood—one that might seem funny now, but at the time it was anything but. One Valentine’s Day in sixth grade, I found a mysterious note slipped onto my desk. It said something flattering—“I think you’re so good-looking…”—and invited me to meet by the flagpole at lunch. I spent the rest of the day imagining who might have sent it. When I finally got to the flagpole, to my dismay, the person who showed up was a girl I really didn’t get along with. That was bad enough, but then I heard laughter. Half my class was hiding behind a tree, giggling at both of us. You could say it was my most embarrassing Valentine’s Day ever—and that moment made me think, “Maybe marriage isn’t for me after all!”
Of course, I grew up, found the love of my life, and realized I actually do believe in marriage. More than that, I’ve learned to value marriage profoundly—not just as a personal preference but as a gift from God. The Scriptures show us that marriage is God’s design, not a mere social construct. It’s bound up with our duty to one another, and it’s intended for a particular duration. In Mark chapter 10, Jesus addresses questions about marriage and divorce in a way that reorients us to the original purpose God had from the very beginning.
In a world that often downplays, redefines, or altogether dismisses marriage, we need to remember that Jesus upheld it as a sacred, life-giving institution, meant for our good and God’s glory. By exploring these three points, we’ll see how marriage—though often challenged by sin or cultural trends—remains a gracious gift and a vital cornerstone for flourishing families.
The Design for Marriage
“From the beginning…”
It’s telling that when the Pharisees confront Jesus about divorce, He doesn’t merely quote popular rabbis or cultural norms. Instead, He takes them back to the creation story in Genesis. In Mark 10:6, Jesus reminds them—and us—that “from the beginning of creation God made them male and female.” In other words, we shouldn’t look to human tradition first; we should look to how God originally crafted marriage before sin entered the world.
The book of Genesis shows us how God declared every part of creation “good,” except for one thing: “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18). And so, in His kindness, God created Eve. It wasn’t until Eve was formed and united to Adam that Eden became a true paradise. As men and women equally made in God’s image, they were designed to come together in a lifelong, complementary, and intimate union. In the New Testament, Jesus reaffirms this, presenting marriage not as a human invention but as God’s doing.
While modern culture sometimes views marriage as a fluid concept—adjustable according to preference—Jesus’ words emphasize a specific design: one man and one woman. This biblical framework isn’t rooted in bigotry or old-fashioned custom; it’s rooted in God’s wise, loving creation. When He joins husband and wife, He does more than bind them legally; He knits their hearts and lives in a sacred oneness.
It can be easy to overlook the phrase “What therefore God hath joined together.” But Jesus’ point is that marriage is truly a divine joining. It’s not just a piece of paper or social arrangement; God Himself is involved. Marriage, in His design, is meant for oneness—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. This is why it carries such gravity and why we must treat it with reverence.
So, the design for marriage is rooted in creation itself. Far from being an afterthought, marriage is a foundational building block for human relationships. God’s original blueprint remains relevant: a man and a woman, joined by God, meant for companionship, mutual support, and a deep reflection of His love.
The Duty in Marriage
In Mark 10:7, Jesus quotes Genesis, saying, “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife.” This verse encapsulates the duty that each spouse holds. The couple is to leave behind their former household in a sense—forming a new unit—and cleave to one another in a bond of mutual commitment and love. This “leave and cleave” principle is about far more than geography; it’s about shifting primary loyalty from parents to spouse, establishing a new family. Of course, parents remain incredibly significant, but the marital bond takes center stage.
The biblical language of “one flesh” underscores that duty of commitment. It’s not just about physical intimacy—though that’s part of it—but about a shared life. Think of the ways spouses merge finances, share living space, raise children, and forge a shared spiritual journey. When two believers stand before God and vow to love each other “for better or worse,” they’re saying, “We will do life together in absolute unity.” They promise to help each other grow in Christ, to be each other’s biggest support, and to walk hand in hand through every hardship.
When Ephesians 5 and 1 Peter 3 flesh out marriage roles, it’s not about suppressing one partner or elevating the other to unbiblical power. Rather, each spouse brings distinct strengths and a shared commitment to serve the other’s flourishing. Husbands are called to love sacrificially, just as Christ loved the church. Wives are to respect and support their husbands in a manner that honors the Lord. These roles aren’t about hierarchical dominance; they’re about reflecting God’s self-giving love. In practical terms, the duty in marriage means practicing patience, forgiveness, and open communication. It means seeking wise counsel when conflict arises and being humble enough to admit fault. Most importantly, it means recognizing that you’re on the same team—co-laborers for the kingdom of God, displaying Christ’s love to a watching world.
The Duration of Marriage
Jesus’ words are clear: “They are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Mark 10:8–9). The language echoes permanence. Marriage is intended as a lifelong covenant, echoing the unwavering faithfulness God shows His people. From Genesis onward, Scripture never treats marriage casually. Jesus highlights that divorce wasn’t in the original blueprint; it arose because of sin and hardness of heart.
The Pharisees, in Mark 10:2–4, ask Jesus if it’s lawful to divorce for any reason, referencing how Moses allowed a “bill of divorcement.” But Jesus clarifies that Moses’ instruction was a reluctant concession because people’s hearts were hard. God never delighted in divorce; He simply provided guidelines to protect the vulnerable—most often, the wives—from wholesale abandonment.
Elsewhere in Scripture, notably in Matthew 19:9 and 1 Corinthians 7:15, we find that there are narrow, heartbreaking circumstances—like sexual infidelity or an unbelieving spouse’s desertion—that might lead to a legitimate, biblically permissible divorce. But these exceptions confirm the rule that marriage is, by design, to be a bond “till death do us part.” They aren’t meant as casual escape clauses; they recognize the tragic reality of sin.
When Jesus speaks firmly about the permanence of marriage, it might trouble some who have gone through divorce or know its pain firsthand. But keep this in mind: God’s grace abounds for those who’ve experienced brokenness. The gospel doesn’t rank sins or cast out anyone who’s endured heartbreak or made choices they regret. Many couples find themselves on the brink of divorce yet experience miraculous restoration through godly counsel, repentance, and persistent prayer. Even if reconciliation isn’t possible in every case, the Christian community should still be a haven of healing, reminding believers of God’s abundant grace.
Thus, the duration of marriage is meant to be lifelong, reflecting God’s own unwavering love. If each spouse recognizes that there’s no “Plan B,” they’re more inclined to invest deeply in each other, seek help early when issues arise, and rely on God’s power to mend what’s torn. We need to uphold this vision in our churches, families, and personal relationships.
Reflection
Marriage can be a tender subject—both beautiful and fraught with emotion. Many of us carry deep wounds from divorce or shattered homes. Others grapple with unmet desires or everyday marital struggles. Yet in Mark 10, Jesus calls us to look beyond the swirl of cultural opinions and personal heartbreaks to see the goodness in God’s original design.
Cherish God’s Blueprint. In a world that often views marriage as an outdated institution or an optional preference, Jesus emphasizes that it’s divinely instituted—a reflection of His faithfulness. We do well to treat it with reverence. If you’re single and considering marriage, embrace its sacred weight. If you’re already married, ask God to rekindle gratitude and affection for your spouse.
Embrace Your Mutual Duty. Marriage isn’t just about coexisting; it’s about oneness. It involves leaving past ties in an appropriate way so you can cleave wholeheartedly to each other, forming a new, committed family. That bond is to be nurtured daily by selfless love, forgiveness, and shared purpose.
Honor Its Lifelong Nature. Though sin can distort and sometimes destroy marriages, God’s plan hasn’t changed: He intends marriage as a covenant that endures. Even if you’ve walked through a divorce or seen it up close, remember that God is merciful. Our church family can be—and should be—a place of restoration, never condemnation, for those who’ve suffered broken bonds.
For those enduring marital strife now, take heart: God’s grace can soften even the hardest hearts. Seek help and counsel. Separation, if needed, can be a step toward eventual healing, not just an automatic pathway to divorce. And for those who bear scars from a past divorce, don’t let shame or guilt define you. Christ’s sacrifice is enough to redeem your story.
Ultimately, marriage is about reflecting Christ’s unwavering love for His church. That’s why He calls us into deep fidelity, unconditional support, and an unbreakable bond. If we live out these truths, we bear witness to the world that God’s love is stronger than human weaknesses—that it can mend what’s broken and breathe life into what seems dead.
So may we, as a community of believers, support and honor one another’s marriages—celebrating times of joy and stepping in with prayer and help when hardships arise. And may we always hold high God’s design, duty, and intended duration for marriage, convinced that His ways are life-giving and His grace abounds where we fall short.
